Jokes:

There’s an old joke about a very clever man who somehow manages to get himself up to heaven on a day pass and sits down to have a conversation with God.

He asks: “God, can you explain how eternity looks to you?”

God replies “To me, all of eternity is like a blink of an eye – less than one second in your limited perception of time.”

Next the man asks “God, can you explain what wealth is like for you?”

And God says “Wealth is so much more infinite than you can imagine. A billion dollars in the infinite realm is like a penny in your limited perception of wealth.”

The man thinks for a moment.

“God – can I borrow a penny?”

“Sure,” says God. “Just a second…”



Two planets meet after a long time: 

 

- What's New? - asks the first planet

- Well ... I think I got that virus called 'intelligent life’.

- Ah, don’t worry, I had it too! It’s a small thing. It lasts only six or seven millennia and then it goes away. Your planetary temperature will rise up a little, but only briefly. It may last a bit longer if the infection reaches a thermonuclear reaction. If you begin treatment at the stage of antiquity, a remission generally follows short afterwards. 

 

To prevent it from happening again in the future, take three asteroid every millennium after each ice age and you won’t have any problems.



you are made of star stuff, but so is garbage so calm the fuck down

If on Earth my weight is 110 kg, then on Mars I would only weigh 42 kg.

 

Therefore I'm not overweight, I'm just living on the wrong planet.


watch what I can make Pavlov do - as soon as I drool he'll smile and write in his little book

A guy read a book on Feng Shui and then wasn't sure where to put it... 


never trust an atom - they make up everything

Funny videos:

 

Stop It