How to find the right partner?

 

"If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else” ~Laurence J. Peter

Throughout our lives, we enter into various relationships - with family, friends, lovers, or business associates. This particular blog post is about finding a love partner by following two simple steps, but these steps can also be used for all other types of relationships. 

 

The number one problem with finding a partner in today’s society is that people don’t know what they want, and are bombarded with choice. Tinder-like apps only make the situation worse, and many people my age go from meeting one person to meeting the next, endlessly. But think about it: if you don’t know what you are looking for, how will you know when it appears? It is just not possible.

 

The first step is therefore to write down what you want. Don't think too much about physical appearance - love is way beyond that. Instead, write down things about character and deeper values - describe his or her soul if you will. 

Without thinking about anyone in particular, think only about what *you* want, and answer these questions:

  • What type of love are you looking for?
  • What will your partner's life be about?
  • How will s/he inspire you?
  • What will be his/her unique qualities that will make you melt every time you meet? 

Let. Your. Heart. Speak. Know that what you seek is also seeking you. 

Then, still as part of the first step, think about how you will contribute to the relationship:

  • What are your qualities?
  • How can you inspire your partner?
  • What can you give him/her? 

Feel free to add your own questions, and try to make the two lists as balanced as possible. 

An important point in this first step is to let it happen without trying to force it in any way. Forget what you have written, and simply be open to it happening on its own - effortlessly. We often get the things we want in unexpected ways. 

 

The second step is simple and fun, yet not many people do it. As we grow older, we tend to have less and less time for our hobbies and interests, and we therefore limit ourselves to the people that we are ‘meant to meet’ - from school, university, or jobs. Yet if we really follow our passions, they will inevitably lead us to new knowledge and interests, and therefore to meeting new people we like (see this article about ‘unschooling’). So don’t just go places where you think you might meet your next partner, but actually go places where you personally want to go to regardless of your desire to be in a relationship. Do what you love out of love! The rest will take care of itself. 

 

I hope that will be useful. If there’s anything you would like me to clarify on this or other posts/youtube videos, then message me here or on Facebook :)